you will come to me in the middle of the night
and we'll wrap our legs
we'll wrap our arms around eachother's small frames
and breathe softly into the space between our faces
but i won't share my thoughts with you
no, those are locked up tight
and even though these are just visions in my deepest drunken sleep,
sneaking through my entryway window when i refuse
to open the door
it doesn't make me anymore prepared for reality
nothing prepares you for this
cold cold cold
"i hardly ever feel alone"
but tonight i want to scream about loneliness and how it stings and it creates little circles of want around your bedroom walls that just tend to radiate when lights are out
so what will i do?
i'll meet my best friends and tell them i'm an idiot and that i just want someone to hold me because it hurts over and over again and so they will laugh and close their eyes to my shame
and so he will hold. and my head will rest on his chest.
by an hour i'll run away again
because good girls never stay.
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